Open Letter To MTN!Dear MTN,I write this
letter with so much pain.On January 1st 2012,
GEJ Government took Nigerians by surprise on
New year’s day with their fuel subsidy wahala.
Little did we know you guys were jealous of the
attention we gave them. January 1st 2013, we
all celebrated the new year expecting another
surprise from our president before the end of
the day but alas, nothing happened. January 4th
2014, I offered a recharge card vendor a 200
naira note in exchange for 200 naira worth of
MTN airtime but she returned the money to me
saying I’ll need to balance her extra N20 naira.
I walked up to another vendor and met same
fate. On further investigations, I found out
that you, MTN had topped an extra 10 naira to
your 100, 200 and 400 airtime packages.
Literally, the cost of f*ckery (pardon my bad
language) has increased by ten naira. We have
been told by MTN that the cost of those tools
they have been using in torturing has risen and
as such, we should pay an extra ten naira to
make up for this.I am tempted to ask, why the
sudden price increment? To rid off some
customers?To offer us good service? Or is MTN
broke?Oh broke? my bad! Are they not the ones
that gave out an invisible aeroplane to an
eighteen year old female subscriber a year ago
thereby converting her from a student to a
pilot?Are they not the ones that usually give
two million naira to a lucky subscriber daily IF
AND ONLY IF he/she will text WIN NOW to
33314?Are they not the ones that gave
CHRISTY a toyota camry because she texted
YES to 7070?Are they not the ones that gave
OGECHI a honda four weeks ago because she
texted WIN NOW to 5014? What of the N100
that was deducted from my sim and that of
other innocent subscribers after MTN informed
me via sms that Nigeria’s flag is green, white,
green? Are they not the ones that offered us
N400 airtime (though their terrible network
didn’t let us utilise the airtime till they took it
back from us two days after) free of charge
because we updated our SIM registration
details?Oh God, I could go on and on…Of course
I have every right to rant. Didn’t I mention
some weeks back I am in a serious relationship
with MTN. Don’t even tell me about abusive
relationships. I have had my fair share with
MTN.I subscribed for a data plan last week and
MTN had the guts to bind and destroy my
network till my data expired. Recently,when I
load airtime,they will collect my #100 without
giving me a genuine reason why they collected
it..Last year, I was walked out of an exam hall
by the supervisor because my phone rang! One
missed call from 180!The painful part of
everything is, its difficult to leave them!Those
yellow guys have hypnotised me. I can’t count
the number of times I’ve gone to a mobile shop
to get another line but walked out after thirty
minutes with another MTN sim.I have it all. The
0803, the 0806 and the 0813 numbers. Three
phones, three MTN lines and I of recent bought
their new line which is 0903, silently praying,
hoping, and wishing one day everything’s gonna
be alright. Oh! Didn’t I say that in 2007?Its
been eight long years of endurance, patience
and tolerance. MTN were the first to send me a
New Year SMS but not without taking my ten
naira with them. I paid for spam!MTN had me
googling if I mistakenly killed the Late Nelson
Mandela.( My number had not rested because I
have refused to subscribe for Mandela’s
callertunez)I wake up every morning with a
goodmorning sms from MTN N informing me of
my chance to win N1m before the day is over.I
go to bed every night but not without my
goodnight sms from MTN N informing me I may
not have been lucky today but tomorrow is
another day.The days I expect a credit alert on
my phone are thedays the oga behind the 4100
sms falls in love with my number. I receive an
sms on a weekly basis informing me of the
current cost of dettol.WTF!!!Even dettol no
longer cares! Why should I?I engage in
frivolous conversations and the next thing I get
is an sms from MTN telling me to subscribe to
33114 to receive tips on how to get a job. I
think of marriage and the next thing is an sms
telling me to subscribe to receive tips on how to
take care of my baby.The height of it all was
the day I refused to honour a lady's invitation
then I received an sms from MTN seconds later
which read;‘Don’t die single! Subscribe 100
weekly for tips on how to win a lady's heart’
Literally, they’ve spent all their time begging me
to receive Just The Tips. If MTN understands
me this much, why didn’t they ask for my
approval before the ten naira subsidy issue?I
know what some of you are thinking is that
SMITH is jobless. An 800 words article just
because of ten naira? Please,I am an economist
and I know what is good for me economically
for example If ten naira is taken out from your
one million naira, would you still be called a
millionaire?
#think !
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